Wandering Belka

I just finished the piece above about the use of lysol for
douching back in the day and it really shocked and scared 
me and my precious vagina...and then it made me think 
about how we still do this-believe in the lies that we are 
dirty and gross and just need to clean ourselves up 
in order to be loved, wanted or normal. 

In the next coming months, some peace corps volunteers 
and I will be working with Population Council and local health 
centers to put on the Vagina Monologues. While reviewing
the script, the following monologue JUMPED out at me, 
especially since I often get crap from people about my hair
(in particular, from other fellow women-come on, ladies!)
...But I LOVE my hair! And thus, I will salute it...

YOU CANNOT LOVE A VAGINA

UNLESS YOU LOVE HAIR.

MANY PEOPLE DO NOT LOVE HAIR.

MY FIRST AND ONLY HUSBAND HATED HAIR.

HE SAID IT WAS CLUTTERED AND DIRTY.

HE MADE ME SHAVE MY VAGINA.

IT LOOKED PUFFY,

AND EXPOSED, LIKE A LITTLE GIRL.

THIS EXCITED HIM.

WHEN HE MADE LOVE TO MY VAGINA,

IT FELT THE WAY A BEARD MUST FEEL.

IT FELT GOOD TO SCRATCH IT, AND PAINFUL,

LIKE SCRATCHING A MOSQUITO BITE.

THERE WERE SCREAMING RED BUMPS.

IT FELT LIKE IT WAS ON FIRE.

I REFUSED TO SHAVE IT AGAIN.

THEN MY HUSBAND HAD AN AFFAIR.

WHEN WE WENT TO MARITAL THERAPY,

HE SAID HE SCREWED AROUND

BECAUSE I WOULDN'T PLEASE HIM SEXUALLY,

I WOULDN'T SHAVE MY VAGINA.

THE THERAPIST HAD A THICK GERMAN ACCENT,

AND SHE GASPED ( gasping )

BETWEEN SENTENCES ( gasping )

TO SHOW HER EMPATHY.

SHE ASKED ME WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO PLEASE MY HUSBAND,

WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO SHAVE MY VAGINA.

I TOLD HER I THOUGHT IT WAS WEIRD.

I FELT LITTLE WHEN MY HAIR WAS GONE DOWN THERE,

AND I COULDN'T HEL P TALKING IN A BABY VOICE.

AND EVEN CALAMINE LOTION WOULDN'T STOP THE IRRITATION.

SHE TOLD ME THAT MARRIAGE WAS A COMPROMISE.

I ASKED HER IF MY SHAVING MY VAGINA

WOULD STOP MY HUSBAND FROM SCREWING AROUND.

I ASKED HER IF SHE HAD MAN Y CASES LIKE THIS BEFORE.

SHE TOLD ME THAT QUESTIONS DILUTED THE PROCESS.

SHE WAS SURE IT WA S A GOOD BEGINNING,

I JUST NEEDED TO JUMP IN.

THIS TIME, WHEN WE GOT HOME, HE GOT TO SHAVE MY VAGINA.

IT WAS LIKE A THERAPY BONUS PRIZE.

HE CLIPPED IT A FEW TIMES,

AND THERE WAS A LITTLE BLOOD IN THE BATHTUB.

HE DIDN'T NOTICE,

HE WAS SO EXCITED SHAVING ME.

THEN, LATER, WHEN MY HUSBAND WAS PRESSING AGAINST ME,

I COULD FEEL HIS SPIKY SHARPNESS

STICKING INTO MY NAKED EXPOSED VAGINA.

THERE WAS NO PROTECTION.

THERE WAS NO FLUFF

AND I REALIZED THAT HAIR IS THERE FOR A REASON

IT'S THE LEAF AROUND THE FLOWER,

THE LAWN AROUND THE HOUSE.

YOU HAVE TO LOVE HAIR IN ORDER TO LOVE THE VAGINA.

YOU CAN'T PICK THE PARTS YOU WANT

AND BESIDES...

MY HUSBAND, WELL...

HE NEVER DID STOP SCREWING AROUND

(Hair, Vagina Monologues)